I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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