OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We are two peas in an std pod
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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