I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
