i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
