Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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