so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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