i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
