so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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