she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize