her vagine was all disorganized.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
