when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
