I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
