Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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