so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
