i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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