I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
