so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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