I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I love you.
Bad choice
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