He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
