whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We had sex on a dog bed..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
