Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
