Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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