You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
