Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
