My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
