her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
