why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
