maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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