You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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