Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
