So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
