Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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