she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize