nut hugger
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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