Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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(406): View more from Montana

I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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(773): View more from Illinois

No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.

(720): View more from Colorado

When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?

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(772): View more from Florida

I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means

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(616): View more from Michigan

time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

we need a secret handshake

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.

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