How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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