My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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