There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
