Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
