So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
