i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
