That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
