i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
