dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
