I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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