Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
