Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
