Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
