Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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