I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
