I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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