I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
