im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
