Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm too high and old for this...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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