is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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