The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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